


It Takes Three

by whiskygalore



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Jensen, Fluff, Hurt Jensen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 08:00:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16869169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskygalore/pseuds/whiskygalore
Summary: Written for the spn-reversebang 2018: Jensen is the owner of a bookstore, Jared and Jeff are his long suffering boyfriends. Juggling work and relationships is never easy, sometimes it takes the worst kind of wake-up call to realize what you’re in danger of losing.





	It Takes Three

**Author's Note:**

> I was thrilled to successfully claim Sillie82’s gorgeous J3 artwork and be able to work with her again this year! Many thanks to her for her patience and encouragement and of course for letting me play with her stunning artwork, and to the mods for all the work they put into running the challenge. Also thanks to Bee for the quick beta, any mistakes remaining are definitely my own!

 

 

 

  
**JEFF**

 

Jeff doesn’t want to move. This doesn’t happen nearly often enough; all three of them tangled around each other in the morning, legs twined together, Jensen’s head pillowed on Jeff’s chest, Jared’s hand curled around Jensen’s waist. Both of the boys are still asleep, occasional soft snores bubbling from Jared. Jensen’s breath huffing warm against Jeff’s skin.

Waking like this is Jeff’s idea of heaven. At least, it comes a very close second to the breathtaking sex they had last night… something else that also doesn’t happen often enough these days.

It can’t be helped; they’re busy men, all three of them, with hectic schedules. Jeff finds himself on his company jet far more often than he’d like, flying off to fix other people’s fuck-ups or spread his well-practiced charm where it’s needed. And Jared’s insanely talented, his skills in high demand all over the country. Jensen has his own business to run. His bookstore might not be in the same league as Jeff’s multimillion-dollar company, or Jared’s renowned tattoo-studio, but it’s his pride and joy, and he works damn hard to keep it profitable.

A long weekend like this, all three of them under the same roof, it’s like gold dust.

Still, Jeff needs to piss. And all the sentimental thoughts in the world can’t help with that.

Pressing a kiss to Jensen’s ruffled hair, Jeff slides his ankle out from under Jensen’s leg and eases himself out of bed.

As always, as soon as his bare feet touch the floor, he’s grateful for the underfloor heating he had installed when he bought the old beach-house. The air is still a little cool as it washes over him when he walks to the bathroom, but considering it’s November, and cold as balls outside, he can’t complain.

Jeff pisses, washes his hands and splashes water over his face before brushing his teeth. Looking at his face in the mirror, he’s sure there’s more grey peppering his beard than there was a few days ago. He tries not to let it bug him. He’s got a few years on Jared and Jensen, but he’s not old by any stretch of the imagination. Still, he’s not getting any younger. The stiffness in his joints after a night like last night is a gentle reminder of that.

Sometimes, he thinks, it’d be nice to slow down. Cut down on the insane hours he works. But his whole life has revolved around the business, his baby, since he was nineteen years old. Twenty-five years later, he still can’t see himself giving it up.

After sneaking back into the bedroom to grab his robe, Jeff walks downstairs to the kitchen, and puts on the coffee. Humming softly under his breath, he fetches three mugs from the cupboard, cream for himself, and sugar for Jared. He’s standing at the open refrigerator door picking at the remains of last night’s dessert when he hears the padding of bare feet on the tiled floor behind him just a second before Jared drops a kiss onto the crook of his neck.

“Naughty,” Jared says, his voice still sleep rough. “Chocolate cake for breakfast?”

Jeff closes the refrigerator door, smiling crookedly at being caught red-handed, or chocolate-handed in this case. “Jensen‘s chocolate cake is pretty damn irresistible,” he admits, turning around to face Jared.

Jared’s taken the time to slip on boxer shorts before coming down for coffee, but his naked chest, broad and beautiful, is on full view. The tattoos wrapped around Jared’s arms, from shoulders to wrists and trailing across his pecs are an absolute work of art, all but a few of the pieces designed by Jared himself. The kid’s skin is, hands down, the most beautiful canvas Jeff has ever seen.

Jeff has a few tattoos himself. The most recent all done by Jared. It’s how they met. Jeff knew Jared was talented the moment he spotted the art in his studio windows. And he knew he wanted to take Jared home the second they met. Hazel eyes, a dimpled smile and legs that went on for miles; the guy was, still is, gorgeous. Back then though, Jeff could just about manhandle the lanky kid, but since Jared discovered his love of the gym, those days are long gone. The fucker could probably pick Jeff up if he wanted.

“Hmm,” Jared hums his agreement. “You’re not wrong. Maybe we should persuade him to sell up the bookstore and become our personal pastry chef instead. Coffee?”

“Coming,” Jeff says. “Jensen still asleep?”

Jared snorts, opening the refrigerator door again as Jeff goes to see to the coffee. “Of course he is. I’m not even attempting to wake the grumpy bastard without a caffeine offering to appease him.”

Jared has a point. Jensen’s not a morning person. Not remotely. Coffee is the only thing that can soothe his aversion to waking. Well, coffee and orgasms. They don’t often have time for the latter in the mornings. They do today.

Still, he’d be a foolish man not to approach a sleeping Jensen cautiously and without bearing caffeine.

Jared’s lips are sticky with chocolate buttercream by the time the coffee is ready. Jeff licks most of it off before leading the way back upstairs. Jensen is still curled on his side, cocooned below the covers when they return to the bedroom. The only thing visible, the soft tips of his dirty-blond hair.

Jeff and Jared set down the coffee mugs on the bedside cabinets, Jared carefully nudging aside Jensen’s spectacle case before setting his and Jensen’s mugs down, while Jeff places his own beside the bottle of lube, which after last night is almost empty. Luckily, there’s another bottle at Jared’s side of the bed.

Jeff discards his robe, and watches appreciatively as Jared kicks off his boxers. They both climb into bed, one either side of Jensen, tugging the covers down so they can sidle up next to his sleeping form. Without speaking they each reach out to brush their fingers down his side, Jensen letting out a disgruntled squawk when their cool fingers come into contact with his bed-warm skin.

Jeff grins and gently pushes Jensen onto his back, ignoring his whine of complaint. The boy still hasn’t opened his eyes, although he’s definitely more awake than asleep now. He’s going to need a little more encouragement before he’s ready to greet the day with anything more than a scowl though.

Jared’s already working on it, wriggling down the bed, mouthing a path of hot kisses down Jensen’s chest, his belly, the soft dip below his hip bones. Jensen’s lips open with a gasp when Jared’s talented mouth reaches his dick, and he sucks him in without hesitation. Jeff nips at Jensen’s ear lobe, then growls in his ear, “Morning, sweetheart.”

Jensen’s eyes stay stubbornly shut, but his eyelashes flutter delicately against his pale skin. “Jensen.” Jeff grazes his teeth down Jensen’s neck, stopping to suck on his favorite freckle. “Come on, darlin’, show us those gorgeous green eyes.”

Jensen’s nose wrinkles up. Adorable. “Coffee,” he mumbles.

Jeff chuckles against Jensen’s cheek. “Coffee? Really? You sure that’s what you want right now?”

Jared must do something delightfully evil right then because Jensen’s eyes snap open and he lets out the most delicious gasp that Jeff eats right up, his lips greedy against Jensen’s, his fingers spread across the high cut of Jensen’s cheek bone, his dick swollen hard against Jensen’s belly.

“You sure you don’t want me to fuck you instead?” Jeff says, his words falling against Jensen’s open lips. “I bet you’re still nice and open after Jared fucked you last night. I could slip right it, fill you up so good, darlin’.”

This time it’s Jensen that presses his lips against Jeff’s, arching up against him, and as though that’s the signal they’ve all been waiting for, suddenly there’s a flurry of limbs, kisses are traded, hair is pulled, bruises sucked into skin. Jensen finds himself on his knees, moaning filthy noises as Jared’s fingers cradle his head while he fucks into the heat of Jensen’s mouth. Kneeling behind them, Jeff enjoys the show, hands slapping down against the rounded cheeks of Jensen’s ass as he does as promised, although not without slicking himself and Jensen up first, and slides right into Jensen’s pretty pink hole.

It doesn’t take long until they’re collapsing against the mattress, chests heaving, heartbeats racing, smiles across their flushed faces.

“Shower?” Jeff eventually says, fingers making a messy path through the come smeared across Jensen’s belly.

“Coffee,” Jensen says, licking up a drop of come that’s dripping down his abused ruby-red lips.

Jeff and Jared chuckle, but there’s worse ways to spend the morning than lying in bed, drinking coffee, even with drying come growing tacky on your skin. Well, mainly Jensen’s skin.

They do shower eventually, trading slow hand-jobs and unhurried toothpaste-flavored kisses in the shower.

Afterwards, having worked up a significant appetite, Jared persuades Jensen to make waffles for breakfast. Jensen, as always, has no defense against Jared’s begging puppy dog eyes.

While Jensen is whipping up the batter, Jeff takes the chance to check the emails on his phone, which in turn leads to him slipping away to the study to find his laptop so he can deal with a couple of issues that have cropped up. It’s nothing major but these things are better dealt with sooner rather than later. He doesn’t realize how long he’s been until Jensen pops his head around the door.

“Hey, breakfast’s ready. I thought you were hungry.”

“Sorry, sweetheart, I’m just coming,” Jeff says, distracted, typing the last few words, and looking for the attachment he needs to include in his email.

Jensen’s still standing at the door when Jeff finally looks up a minute later, the smell of waffles reminding Jeff just how hungry he is. Jensen nods towards Jeff’s laptop. “You promised no work this weekend.”

Closing his laptop with a guilty snap, Jeff jumps to his feet and hurries across to Jensen, placing a kiss to the corner of his downturned lips. “I just needed to check in. That’s it. I’m done. Promise.”

“That and and half the morning yesterday,” Jensen sighs, and turns away, heading back towards the kitchen. Jeff follows in his footsteps. “I know you’re a busy guy Jeff, I do, but this weekend was supposed to be special. It’s not like we’re gonna have much time together for the next few weeks. You have that thing in London in the middle of December, and Jared’s flying off in a few days for the conference in Australia. We’re not even gonna have Thanksgiving together this year.”

Jeff is disappointed about that. But, unfortunately, it’s one of those things that’s unavoidable. Jared will be in Australia then, and Jeff promised his mom that because he wasn’t coming home for Christmas, he’d definitely be there for Thanksgiving this year. And even though he’d wanted Jensen to come with him, he wasn’t surprised when Jensen turned down the offer. Black Friday is really the start of Jensen’s crazy busy period, and although he didn’t have anything as tacky as a huge sale, he would probably spend the day decorating his beloved little store in an abundance of Christmas decorations. The boy has a secret love of glitter and sparkling lights that comes out in full force at Christmas.

Also… Jensen is under the mistaken impression that Jeff’s family doesn’t like him. And once Jensen lodges an idea in his head, even a dumb one like that, it’s damn near impossible to shift.

Jeff catches up with Jensen, clasping his hands around Jensen’s waist and holding him still for a second. “I’m sorry,” he says, nuzzling a kiss against Jensen’s nape. “No more work today, sweetheart, I swear.”

Jensen’s shoulders slump and he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Sorry, I don’t mean to nag. It’s just that I miss you guys, y’know? Sometimes we’re all so busy that it feels like we’re drifting apart. I just… I just wanted this weekend to be good.”

Jeff turns Jensen around in his arms, his belly swooping the way it always does when those green eyes are focused fully on him. “Hey, come on, we might be busy, but that doesn’t mean we’re drifting apart. Us three, we’re solid. Nothing could split us up.”

There’s a flicker across Jensen’s features that Jeff isn’t used to seeing, not recently. Doubt. Anxiety.

“Jensen?”

Jensen shakes his head, and smiles, forced. “Nothing. Nothing. I’m fine. You’re right. I’m being stupid.”

“Sweetheart, I never said—“ Jeff starts to say, but Jared’s bellow cuts off his words.

“Guys, the waffles are getting cold. Get your asses in here.”

Jensen rolls his eyes and pops a quick kiss to Jeff’s cheek. “More like the waffles are getting eaten. Come on, before there’s none left and I have to mix up another batch.”

By the time they’ve eaten breakfast, Jeff and Jared cleaning up once they’re done while Jensen goes to change his sweater after spilling syrup down the front of it, Jeff has all but forgotten his and Jensen’s conversation.

Despite the grey skies and a chilly easterly wind, it’s not a bad day. It’s not raining anyway, like it has been since they arrived, so they take the opportunity to get out the house and go for a walk along the beach. It’s something they all love about staying out here; the quietness and solitude of the beach in winter. The wet sand below their boots and the sea breeze across their faces.

They wrap up warm; Jared grabbing his beanie to stop his hair blowing in his eyes before they lock up the house, bracing themselves against the cold.

“The steps are going to be slippery after all that rain,” Jeff points out, walking ahead along the narrow path that leads to the wooden stairs, the quickest way down to the beach.

“Yeah,” Jared says, from behind him. “Watch your step, Jen.”

“Why don’t _you_ watch your step,” Jensen’s voice is a little further back, muffled against the wind but unmistakably grumpy.

“I am,” Jared says. “But I’m not the one who’s been known to trip over a crack in the sidewalk.”

“More than once.” Jeff joins in.

“Or who’s needed so many X-rays that he practically glows in the dark,” Jared adds.

“Fuck you, both,” Jensen grumbles when Jeff laughs out loud. “I’m not that bad.”

Jeff holds on to the hand rail as he begins the descent down to the beach because the steps are more slippery than normal and he doesn’t want to end up sliding down the whole way on his ass. He’s a bit too old to think that could be remotely fun.

If the steps were wider he’d wait and walk down with Jensen… just in case. Because, for as much as they tease him, Jeff does worry about how often the kid seems to end up hurt. Right now he has a nasty bruise across the top of his foot from dropping a book on it, and a fresh red welted burn across his arm where he burnt it on the oven shelf. The boy is a walking disaster. Jensen blames it on his poor eyesight, and lack of spatial awareness. He’s apparently been accident prone since he was a toddler. His parents always thought he’d grow out of it. They’re still waiting.

Jeff safely makes it to the bottom of the steps, Jared just behind him. They both look up to see Jensen only half way down.

“Well, at least he’s taking his time,” Jared says, sliding his fingers between Jeff’s and watching with bated breath as Jensen cautiously makes his way down.

“See,” Jensen grins when his boots safely step onto the sand. “No problem.”

“Uhuh,” Jared says, throwing his other arm around Jensen’s shoulders. “This time.”

“Your faith in me is astounding,” Jensen remarks wryly.

“Aw, we have plenty faith in you, darlin’,” Jared says. “Just not in your ability to look after yourself.”

“I’m a grown man, you know,” Jensen says. “I manage to look after myself perfectly well when you guys aren’t around.”

“Sure you do, sweetheart,” Jeff says, placatingly.

“Yeah,” Jared says. “I mean it’s not like you’ve ever caught your fingers in a cash register, or tripped over a box of books, or fallen off a stepladder—“

“Oh, shut up,” Jensen says, elbowing Jared in the ribs. “I’m not that bad.”

“Jensen,” Jeff laughs. “You did all that last month.”

“Oh, look,” says Jensen, very obviously changing the subject as he slides out from under Jared’s arm and rushes ahead a few steps. “Cute dogs.”

And, as Jensen knows perfectly well, that’s enough to distract Jared. Jeff grins at the two labradors bounding across the beach towards them. Happy woofs and damp sand flying through the air as the two dogs reach Jared and Jensen and jump up at the equally excited humans. Jeff smiles, and joins them, not wanting to miss out on the fun.

Jeff wishes they had a dog, or two, of their own. He loves dogs, so does Jensen, and Jared is damn crazy about them. But they just don’t have the free time required to look after a pet properly. Maybe in a few years. Maybe he’ll be ready to loosen the reigns on his company by then.

Once the dogs’ flustered owner finally manages to drag the pair of hyperactive labradors away, Jeff, Jared and Jensen continue their walk along the beach until their faces are so cold that Jensen’s nose is shining red like a beacon. Jeff kisses the cold tip of it, as they begin their walk back, a little brisker than before because even Jared’s complaining about the cold and unlike Jensen, who complains about the cold in the middle of summer, Jared burns hot all year long.

It’s nice to have this time to talk with no distractions. All three of them relaxed, and happy. The biting wind blowing away every stress and worry, Jared goofing around and making Jensen laugh. There is one moment, when Jared takes his cell phone out of his pocket, that Jensen snaps a sharp rebuke, but when Jared does nothing more than take a few quick photographs of the three of them together, Jensen smiles bashfully and offers the sweetest kisses in apology.

They walk back up the wooden steps carefully when they reach them, Jeff leading, Jensen in the middle and Jared taking up the rear. Jensen does slip at one point, grabbing Jeff’s jacket to save himself at the same time that Jared, reflexes sharp, grabs hold of Jensen. No one is hurt and the worst that happens is Jensen pouting at Jared’s teasing.

“So, lunch?” Jared asks, when all three are safely back in the beach house, boots kicked off and outer layers of clothing discarded.

Jensen shakes his head but there’s a fond smile on his face. Jeff chuckles.

“What?” Jared says. “I need to eat. I’m a growing boy.”

Jeff snorts. Jared, thankfully, is definitely _not_ still a growing boy. 6ft 5” is quite tall enough.

Jensen performs an impressive eye-roll, but he still goes into the refrigerator and produces the makings for sandwiches and a container of soup. Jeff reaches for a pan to heat it up.

“Jay,” Jensen says. “If you grew any more you wouldn’t get through the doors.”

“You’re just jealous, shortstop.” Jared grins, ruffling Jensen’s windswept hair.

After lunch, Jeff sneaks out onto the porch to smoke a cigarette. Perhaps he’s not that sneaky though because he feels Jensen’s eyes burning into the back of his head as the door closes behind him, but, shit… he doesn’t smoke much, or often. Not really. Not around Jensen at least.

Jeff also takes the opportunity to switch on his cellphone and check his messages and email. He sends a couple of short replies then quickly chews a piece of gum before stepping back inside the house. He expects to find Jared and Jensen relaxing in front of the television, or even better, making-out in front of the television, instead he walks in to find Jensen sitting on his own at the kitchen table, coffee mug in his hand, and face solemn.

“Hey,” Jeff says, walking past him to wash his hands under the kitchen faucet, in an attempt to get rid of the smell of nicotine. “What’s up? Where’s Jared?”

“Packing,” Jensen says.

Jeff stops in surprise, and grabs a dish-towel to dry his hands. “What? Why? What happened?”

“He got a phone call,” Jensen says, slamming his mug down on the table before standing up, and turning away from Jeff, towards the door. “He got a work offer too good to refuse apparently. He’s cutting out early.”

“Hey,” Jeff says, throwing down the towel and catching Jensen’s arm, tugging him back. “Don’t walk away. Talk to me.”

“What is there to say, Jeff? Looks like the weekend’s over.”

“Listen, I know you’re pissed, but be reasonable; Jared wants to be here as much as either of us this weekend. If he’s leaving early, I’m sure it’s for a damn good reason. And I’m not going anywhere. We can still enjoy the rest of the day. Leave tomorrow morning like we planned.”

Jensen’s eyes are sparking when he meets Jeff’s gaze. Jeff just isn’t sure if the shimmer is tears or anger. “Jeff, you’ve been working half the weekend so far; I’m not gonna sit around competing with your phone for your attention.”

“That’s not fair,” Jeff says, hurt even though Jensen might have a point. Maybe _because_ Jensen has a point.

Jensen bites his lip for a second before he replies, the anger in his tone replaced by flat resignation. “I’m sorry. You’re right. That wasn’t fair. But, y’know, Jeff, sometimes it just feels like you and Jared aren’t really here, even when you are here.”

“We’re just b—”

“Busy guys, I know.” Jensen preempts Jeff’s words. “I’m busy too. You think I don’t have a million things I could be doing at the store this weekend? I’ve had to pay people to cover for me. I’m a small business, that hurts me, hurts my bottom line. But, I didn’t care. Hell, I don’t care. It’s more than worth it to spend some quality time with you guys.”

“Is the bookstore doing okay?” Jeff asks.

Jensen blows out an annoyed breath. “Jesus, Jeff, that’s not even close to the point I’m trying to make here. I’m just saying, I left work behind for three days, it would have been nice if you and Jared had been able to do the same.”

And with the worst timing in the world that’s of course when Jeff’s phone buzzes in his pocket. It’s on silent but the vibration is still loud enough to rattle through the quietness of the kitchen.

Jeff’s saved, kind of, by Jared bustling into the room at that second, his jacket and beanie on, and his hold-all slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, Jeff, did Jensen tell you I have to run. Sorry, man... I really couldn’t say no, you know how it is.”

“I told him,” Jensen says, short and sour, while Jeff fumbles with his phone before shoving it back in his pocket. “I guess I’ll see you soon, Jay. Have a good trip.”

“I’ll call you,” Jared says, ignoring Jensen’s obvious displeasure, and dragging him into a hug before kissing him soundly. “I really am sorry, babe. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Sure, Jay.” Jensen smiles half-heartedly, and pats Jared on the chest before walking out of the kitchen, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Jeff shares a look with Jared. They both know Jensen’s upset, more than a little pissed. “I’ll talk to him,” Jeff says. “He’ll be fine.”

“You know I’d rather stay here, right?” Jared says. “Work just takes priority sometimes.”

“I know, Jay,” Jeff agrees, giving Jared a hug.

Although, he has to admit, if only to himself, that work may be taking priority a little too often lately.

Once Jared has left, Jeff half expects to find Jensen packing his own bag, so he’s quietly relieved to find him sitting on the sofa in the living room instead, distractedly flicking through the television channels.

Jeff sits down beside him, close enough for their thighs to press together. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” He asks, tentatively curling his arm around Jensen’s shoulder, unbearably glad when Jensen doesn’t pull away, instead relaxing and snuggling in against him.

“Yeah,” Jensen says, voice even quieter than normal. “I’m sorry if I acted like a dick.”

Jeff squeezes his shoulder. “You didn’t. I know you’re disappointed about how this weekend turned out.”

Jensen twists the television remote in his hands, probably unaware he’s left some banal reality show playing on the screen.

“I just… sometimes I get to thinking… this just isn’t meant to be.”

It feels like Jeff’s heart misses a beat, his fingers unintentionally pressing bruise-deep into Jensen’s arm in response before he catches himself. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice gruff.

Jensen sighs. “Don’t get me wrong, I love you, Jeff. You and Jared. Jesus, I love you guys so much sometimes I can’t fucking breathe. But, I… I just think you and Jay aren’t as invested in this relationship. Maybe the timing is off, y’know. Like you say, we’re all busy.”

“You think we aren’t as invested?”

“Jeff, we’ve barely spent one night a week together for the past six months. It’s not enough. I want to go to bed with you both every night. I want to wake up with you every day. I don’t just want to meet up for a quickie once a week. Grab the odd weekend together when the stars align just right. I want to spend my life with the people I love.”

“You think we don’t want that too?”

Jensen shrugs. “I guess I just don’t know anymore.”

“Is this because we’re not spending Thanksgiving together? You know I want you to come with me to my mom’s. I’m sure she’d love to see you again.”

“No,” Jensen says. “It’s not that. I don’t grudge you spending Thanksgiving with your mom. She sees you even less than I do. I…” Jensen sets down the television remote and wipes his hands across the thighs of his jeans. “For a guy with two boyfriends, I seem to spend a lot of time feeling alone.”

Jeff’s blindsided. He doesn’t know whether to feel hurt or guilty. He had no idea Jensen felt like that. Sure, Jared and he seemed to be busier than normal lately. But that was just life. Normal pressure and stresses. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to spend time with Jensen. It doesn’t mean they don’t love him.

“Sometimes I wonder whether it’s me.” Jensen continues, before Jeff has a chance to form a response. “If you’re bored with me. I mean you and Jared were a couple before you met me. Maybe it would be easier if it was just the two of you again. Maybe that’s what you really both want.”

“Jesus, Jensen, I don’t even know what to say. I mean… Jesus. No!” Jeff tightens his arm around Jensen’s shoulders. “Where the hell did that come from?”

Jensen sighs, deep and long. Doesn’t answer for a full minute. Jeff can feel tension crackling in the air that shouldn't be there. Not between the two of them. “I’m sorry,” Jensen eventually says. “I guess I’m just a little stressed, and overreacting. Ignore me.”

“Jensen,” Jeff says, “you know how much we both love you, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jensen replies, moving suddenly to slide across Jeff’s lap, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth.

Jeff looks up into those beautiful green eyes, his hands moving to circle Jensen’s waist. “Sweetheart, maybe we should talk?”

A shiver runs down Jeff’s spine as Jensen’s deft fingers card through his hair. “Or maybe we should make the most of the time we have.”

And then Jensen’s mouth is on his and Jeff finds his enthusiasm for conversation waning.

 

  
**JARED**

 

  
Jared’s fucking exhausted. His back aches, there’s a weird crick in his neck and the beginning of a headache is twitching behind his left eye. He feels like he’s spent more time pretzeled in an airplane seat, or worse, attempting to navigate his way through damn airports, as he has working for the past couple days. He’s ready to head home. Back to his own studio. His own bed. Back to Jensen and Jeff.

Unfortunately, he’s just landed in New York where he’s guest artisting at a friend’s studio for the day, before he has to fly to Australia from JFK for a Body Art expo. Even more traveling. What a great way to spend Thanksgiving.

Right about now, he’s seriously regretting bailing early on their rare weekend together.

To be fair, it wasn't like he could say no to the work. Genevieve is one of his biggest clients. Her Instagram account brought him so much publicity a few years back that his popularity and business skyrocketed. He owes her big. And she’s nice. And really fucking persistent. Saying no to her is like trying to say no to a cute little chihuahua.

Anyway, he’s made a small fortune over the past couple days, helped out a friend of hers, and bagged himself some free advertising. He’d have been an idiot to have turned that down.

And it’s not like Jensen and Jeff are much better when it comes to balancing work and their relationship. Jeff spends half his life attached to his phone, never quite ready to step back far enough to let anyone else take over. Not even for a weekend. And Jensen… he works insane hours. It’s not easy in this financial climate owning your own book store, competing with big businesses and online competition, but somehow he makes it work. Even if it does nearly kill him sometimes.

Anyway, it’ll be Christmas in a few weeks, and they’re all taking a week’s vacation then. Spending some quality time together. Jesus, Jared’s looking forward to it.

“Hey! JT!” Chad’s bellow is the first thing Jared hears when he steps into the arrivals lounge. He looks up from his cellphone which he’s just remembered to turn back on. “JT!”

Jared rolls his eyes and hefts his backpack higher on his shoulder. The little dude really doesn’t need to shout, he’s wearing a bright pink hoodie, a purple baseball cap, and has enough piercings to send any airport in to meltdown. Jared’s reasonably sure he would have spotted him.

“Hey,” Jared’s says. “I thought I was just gonna grab a cab to yours?”

“Dude…” Chad drags Jared into a rough hug before slapping him on the back. “We’ve been trying to call you.”

“I’ve been on a fucking plane,” Jared says. “Trying to catch a nap. My cell was turned off. What, you couldn’t wait a couple of hours to see me?”

Just at that, Jared’s cell obviously finds signal because it lights up like a fucking beacon. Jared stares at it. There’s always a few messages waiting for him at the end of a flight, but the amount of missed calls and messages seems a little insane. He’s only been out of reach for four hours, not four days.

“What the hell?”

“You need to call Jeff,” Chad says.

Yeah, Jared can see that. He has a dozen missed calls from him alone.

“Like, right the fuck now.”

“What’s going on?” Jared says, finger poised over the call back icon. “Has Jensen hurt himself again? What’s happened this time? He’s not broken another bone, has he? Fucking idiot.”

“Jared,” Chad says, fiddling with the stretcher in his ear and not quite meeting Jared’s eye.

Before he can answer, Jared’s phone vibrates in his hand, Jeff’s ringtone. Jared answers straight away. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Thank Christ,” Jeff says from the other end. He sounds strained. “I’ve been trying to get hold of you for hours.”

“I was on a plane. I had to switch off my cell, Jesus,” Jared says, again. It comes out a little more defensively that he meant, but fuck it, he’s getting a sickeningly bad feeling now.

Chad’s fidgeting anxiously in front of him while people barge past with suitcases and wheelchairs and screaming kids. Jared holds his hand flat against his other ear so he can hear Jeff speak more clearly. “What the hell’s going on, Jeff?”

“It’s Jensen,” Jeff says curtly, and Jared’s stomach lurches.

“What’s he done? Has he fallen off that motherfucking step ladder again? I told him…”

“Jared,” Jeff cuts him off, and there’s a tremor in his voice that Jared’s never heard before. One that he doesn’t think he ever wants to hear again. “Jensen… he’s… he’s been shot.”

“What?” Jared says, not understanding. “What do you mean?”

“He’s been shot, Jared. With a fucking gun.”

“No,” Jared says, shaking his head. “That doesn’t make any sense.” This is a mistake. It has to be.

“Trust me, I know. But it’s true, kid.”

“Fuck.” Jared feels numb. Completely fucking numb. “Is he… is he…”

“He’s in surgery,” Jeff says. “Get on a plane, and get here now.”

Jared usually hates it when Jeff tells him what to do like this. Like he’s a little kid. Right now, he couldn’t give a single fuck. He’s already heading towards the ticket desk. “What happened, Jeff? What the fuck happened? He works in a bookstore, for fuck’s sake.”

“I… it was… he just… the cops said, wrong time. Wrong place. It wasn’t meant for him. It was just… fuck, Jay, just get your ass home, please. We’re at St.Judes.”

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Just… just hang on. Tell Jensen to hang on.”

By the time Jared hangs up, Chad has shoved his way to the front of the line at the ticket desk and is already explaining the urgency of the situation. Chad’s a douchebag but he’s a solid friend to have around in a crisis. Jared’s on a plane fifty minutes later.

He’s squeezed in the middle seat in a group of three, knees almost up around his ears. He doesn’t travel economy any more, not if he can help it, not with how often he flies, but this time he’s barely conscious of the uncomfortable lack of legroom or the pungent body odor of the guy beside him; his only thought is Jensen.

Given Jensen’s propensity for injuring himself, Jared’s accustomed to worrying about him, but this is different. So fucking different. Shot. What the hell? Jensen works in a goddamn bookstore. Who the hell brings a gun into a bookstore? Who the hell would shoot someone as harmless, as kind and gentle, as Jensen?

Jared can’t help but think back to when he first set eyes on Jensen Ackles. He and Jeff. They’d been in a club. Drinking, dancing, letting off steam. Maybe even trying to pick up someone to take back to Jeff’s with them. As much as they loved each other, as much as the sex between them was explosive, they were both toppy enough bastards to occasionally crave bringing someone else into their bedroom for some harmless fun.

Jensen had been a damn sight more than harmless fun. He’d been lethal; the most beautiful guy in the place. A heady mix of fresh-faced innocence and raw sexuality. He’d been surrounded by writhing bodies on the dance floor when Jared had spotted him, some barrel-chested bear’s hands spread around his narrow hips. Jensen’s eyes had been closed, long eyelashes fanned across his flushed cheeks, head thrown back and teeth digging into his plump bottom lip. Jared had watched him open-mouthed long enough for Jeff to notice. Once he followed Jared’s gaze to Jensen’s spot on the dance floor it was only a matter of minutes before, after a silent conversation, they were leading Jensen from the club.

The sex that night had been the best of Jared’s life. Up until that point anyway. There was a spark between the three of them, an instant connection like lightning meeting thunder. Jensen blushed and begged and did things with his tongue that almost made Jared cry.

When he fell asleep curled between Jeff and Jared, sweat-soaked and sated, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. And feeding the too-skinny kid breakfast the next morning seemed like the decent thing to do. Post-breakfast showers had turned into post-breakfast blow jobs and then another round of sex which had left them needing more showers, but feeling too exhausted to care. The three of them didn’t leave Jeff’s house all weekend.

They fell into a relationship as easily as they’d fallen into bed. They didn’t examine the technicalities of a polyamorous relationship too closely. Just let things evolve organically, solved each challenge as it arose, usually with little fuss. Early on, Jensen occasionally doubted himself, doubted Jeff and Jared’s relationship had enough room for one more. But Jared was persistent and Jeff was dogged and they never allowed Jensen’s fears to tear him from their arms.

Jared almost throws up thinking that a bullet might be the thing that succeeds in doing that now.

The flight is interminable. Jared’s almost bursting out of his skin by the time they land. He runs through the airport, pushes past people and cuts lines. He uses his size in ways he would never normally, but he can’t find it in himself to apologize. Not even when he steals a taxicab from a young couple, the woman obviously heavily pregnant. They have each other, they’ll survive. Without Jensen, Jared might not.

 

                                                           ***

 

“Jesus, Jeff.”

Jensen looks small. Small and pale and fragile. There’s a lot of equipment surrounding his bed; IV’s and a monitor, tubes and drains. Worst of all… he’s on a ventilator. Because breathing on his own is too much effort for him right now. Christ… that news almost breaks Jared completely.

When Jared’s seen people unconscious, in films or on TV shows, they always look peaceful, like they’re just sleeping. Jensen doesn’t look like he’s sleeping. He looks as though death is lurking like a monster beneath his bed, waiting to pounce the moment he’s alone. His freckles are pale shadows of their normal vibrant self against his skin, and there are ominous dark circles under his eyes. His glasses are nowhere to be seen. Jared wonders where they are. If they’re still lying on the street somewhere. Smashed up and forgotten.

“He lost a lot of blood. A lot of blood. The bullet pierced his… his chest. His lung collapsed and… and it was touch and go for a while,” Jeff says. “The surgeons... they said they had to remove part of his left lung and repair the damage. They… they worked on him for hours, Jay.”

“Fuck,” Jared says and falls, more than sits, on a chair beside the bed. Jeff steps closer to Jensen. Brushes his fingers through Jensen’s hair. It’s wrong though because Jensen’s hair never sits like that. Flat and lifeless. Matted with flecks of blood.

“He’s gonna be fine though, right? They said he was gonna be okay?”

Jeff swallows hard, and nods, jerky. He doesn’t look at Jared when he answers. “They said… they said he has a good chance. That if… if he made it through the surgery, he has a good chance.”

“Fuck,” Jared says again. “When… when will they take out the… ventilator thing.” Jared touches his own mouth, as though he’s the one with a plastic tube forced down his throat.

“I’m not a doctor, Jared. I don’t have all the answers,” Jeff snaps, before apologizing so quickly Jared doesn’t have a chance to be surprised. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jay. It’s just… it’s been a long damn day.”

A fresh sense of guilt punches Jared in the solar plexus. He should have been here. For Jensen. For Jeff. It’s been nearly 11 hours since Jensen was shot. Jeff’s been on his own all this time. Dealing with the doctors. The police. The paperwork. Not knowing if Jensen was even going to be alive by the time Jared finally dragged his ass there.

Jared stands up, on heavy legs, and stumbles across to Jeff, wraps his arms around his waist, leans his chin against Jeff’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

Jeff turns around in his arms, and they fall into a hug like they’re in danger of drowning, holding each other aloft. Neither of them mention how wet their faces are when they finally separate. Jeff sniffs and scrubs the back of his sleeve across his eyes. “Shit, Jared. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“I wasn’t here.”

“Neither was I,” Jeff admits. “Not soon enough. I was in a damn business meeting. God, when the hospital called I was… I was pissed at the interruption. I thought Jensen had tripped over his own fucking feet again. Christ! By the time I got here he was already in surgery. He was all alone, Jared. Alone and frightened and neither of us were here when he really needed us.”

Jared wants to argue. To tell Jeff that he’s crazy. That there’s no way either of them could have gotten here any quicker. But he knows it won’t do any good. The guilt that’s eating away at Jeff… its teeth are sunk deep into Jared too.

“We’re here now,” Jared says instead. “That’s what matters.”

“We should have been there for him last weekend,” Jeff replies, taking a step towards Jensen’s bed again.

“We were,” Jared replies, taken aback.

“No, we weren’t. Not really.” Jeff shakes his head. “We were too busy. For him. For each other. You didn’t see him after you left, Jay. He was upset.”

“Jeff, we’re all b— “

“Busy guys,” Jeff steals his words. “I know. That’s what I said. When did we become too busy for each other though? He only wanted one weekend. We couldn’t even give him that. I was on my laptop half the fucking time and you…”

“I left,” Jared says. A hollow sensation spreading through his chest.

“I think he was starting to doubt us. How we felt about him. How committed we are to this relationship,” Jeff admits, reaching out to smooth the sheet over Jensen’s legs.

Jared has to sit down again. “How could he even think that? We love him. I… I love him so fucking much, Jeff.”

Jeff drags another chair close to the bed, mindful of all the equipment. Sits down close enough to lay his hand on Jared’s knee.

“I know. I know, Jay. I think with everything going on in our lives lately, we just lost sight of what was important. It’s not an excuse, but it happens. We’ll make it up to him.”

“If he wakes up.” Jared’s stomach flips as he says it.

“Of course he’ll wake up,” Jeff says, gruffly. “We’re not gonna let him slip away from us. Not now, not ever.”

  
The doctors decide to take Jensen off the ventilator the next morning. Apparently the longer he’s on it, the more Iikely it is to cause problems. Jared and Jeff pace the hallway outside his room in tense silence as the doctor and nurses tend to him. As soon as the medical staff give them the all-clear, they trip over each other in their haste to see him. Thankfully, Jensen is breathing satisfactorily on his own. He has a cannula giving him a little extra oxygen, but the doctors all seem happy with his progress. Even though he’s still not awake.

Jared and Jeff grow increasingly edgy the longer Jensen’s eyes stay stubbornly shut, but the doctors aren’t too concerned, assuring them that Jensen’s body is working hard to recover from shock and blood loss. His vitals are steady. His progress is encouraging. Seeing Jensen, pale and still, it’s hard to believe.

Other than when the medical staff hustle them out of the way, Jared and Jeff don’t leave Jensen alone. They probably both smell rank. And they’re definitely both exhausted, having done nothing more than nap for minutes at a time in the cheap plastic seats beside his bed. But neither of them wants to leave Jensen’s side, not for a minute. Not even when Jensen’s parents show up, white faced and shaky, having rushed straight from the airport to the hospital.

Mr. and Mrs. Ackles stay long enough to talk with Jensen’s doctor and then sit with Jensen while, under duress, Jared and Jeff leave to find coffee. They rush back within thirty minutes, to-go cups filled with enough caffeine to keep them awake for at least another few hours. Neither of them can face food. Definitely not when words like infection are bandied about when Jensen’s temperature changes in the wrong direction. Thankfully, an hour later it’s back to normal but the worry doesn’t recede.

Later that night, much later, when Jensen’s parents are safely tucked-up in a hotel, and all Jeff and Jared’s tense vigil has earned them are aching backs, stiff limbs and nothing more than the odd twitch from Jensen, Jensen finally wakes up.

Jared and Jeff are both leaning over the bed before his eyes have the chance to focus.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” Jeff says, trying to keep his tone light even though Jared can hear the strain taut beneath it.

“Jensen?” Jared says, reaching for his hand and squeezing gently.

Jensen doesn’t say anything, he looks from Jared to Jeff and back to Jared. He licks at his lips and blinks his eyes sluggishly.

“Hey, baby,” Jared says softly, smiling encouragingly. “Come on, time to wake up.”

Jensen swallows hard and licks his lips again before finally speaking. His voice barely a whisper that Jeff and Jared have to lean in even closer to hear. “Coffee?”

Jared doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The noise he makes is a cross between a snort and a sob. Jeff doesn’t fare much better.

After taking a shaky breath, Jeff recovers first. “No, sweetheart. No coffee. Not yet. Maybe later.”

Jensen wrinkles his nose in displeasure. He obviously has no clue where he is or what’s happened. Jared isn’t sure he wants to tell him. Or how to tell him.

When Jensen tries to sit up though, Jared has to move, gently pressing Jensen’s shoulder down on to the bed. Not quickly enough because Jensen’s face screws up in pain. An alarm on one of the monitors beside his bed suddenly makes a high-pitched beep, sending all of their blood pressure’s rocketing.

“No, babe, don’t move, not yet. Just relax,” Jared says, looking desperately at Jeff.

“It’s okay, darlin’, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital. You were… you were hurt, but you’re going to be just fine.” Even Jeff can’t seem to find the words to tell Jensen he was shot.

Jensen huffs out a pained breath, his eyes flickering open again. “Accident? I hurt myself again?” Jensen’s voice isn’t any louder, and his hand creeps up to rub at his throat.

“No, babe, this wasn’t your fault,” Jared says.

Jensen looks confused as hell. He rubs at his eyes and blinks heavily. Jared makes a mental note to find Jensen’s spare glasses even though he knows his poor eyesight is only part of the problem right now. It’s the one thing Jared can do something about. There’s nothing he can do about the pain Jensen is in.

“Hurts,” Jensen says, looking up at Jared who almost falls apart completely seeing the tears welling in Jensen’s glazed eyes.

When Jensen’s fingers drift to the nasal cannula, and he starts to pull at the tube, Jeff captures Jensen’s hand in his and holds it steady

“We know, sweetheart. We know. The nurse will be here in a second. She’ll give you something for the pain, I promise. And we aren’t going to leave you, Jensen. We’re going to stay right here.”

The door opens behind Jared, and he feels nothing but relief that someone’s coming to help. Seeing Jensen in pain is worse than suffering it himself could ever be.

Jensen’s confused gaze swings to Jared again, just before a nurse tries to edge him out of the way.

“Jay… you… you’re supposed to be in… in… Australia.”

And suddenly instead of making room to let the nurse work, Jared finds himself standing stock still, knees locked, legs refusing to move. “No, baby,” he has to swallow down a lump in his throat to say. “No, I’m not. I’m supposed to be right here with you.”

The smile Jensen gives him in return before the nurse shoves Jared out of her way, might be a little blurry, a lot puzzled, but it’s one that Jared will never forget.

 

 

 

  
**JENSEN**

  
The nightmares aren’t always the same. Sometimes Jensen dreams that he’s lying in the street, unable to move, begging for help as people walk past, ignoring him, stepping over him, like he’s invisible. Sometimes he dreams that he’s drowning, and when he shouts for help, blood pours from his mouth like something out of a horror movie. And sometimes it all plays out like a memory. A normal day. Stepping out of the store, crossing the street, hearing the screams, falling. His breath caught in his chest. The spray of his blood hitting a woman in the face as he tries to reply when she asks if he’s okay.

“Jensen. Jensen!”

Jensen wakes with a start, gasping for breath, his chest aching.

“It’s okay. It’s just a dream, sweetheart. Just a dream.”

The only consistent thing is… when Jensen wakes up, he’s never alone. The nightmares fade swiftly with the help of gentle hands and soothing words. Jensen falls back asleep with his head pillowed on Jeff’s chest and Jared’s breath falling steady against the back of his neck.

The next time he wakes he’s alone. He might worry if the bed wasn’t still warm at either side of him. And, if not for the fact that Jeff and Jared have barely left his side for the past month. At one point Jensen thought the hospital staff were more worried about the health of his dumbass boyfriends than Jensen himself.

But, he’s been out of the hospital for nearly two weeks now, thank god, and while Jared and Jeff are still insanely overprotective, they are at least sleeping all night and showering daily again.

Jensen groans as he sits up, rolling his shoulders cautiously before fumbling for his glasses on the bedside cabinet. The pain in his chest is always worse first thing, his muscles stiffening overnight. It takes him awhile to get going in the morning now. Well, even longer than it used to. He was never exactly a morning person.

But now, it’s not caffeine that eases him into the day. It’s painkillers and breathing exercises. As well as caffeine. Because fuck the doctors, Jensen wasn’t giving up his coffee for anyone. It’s one argument even Jeff and Jared weren’t bullheaded enough to pursue. Not after Jensen pitched a fit when he found the crappy caffeine-free coffee they were trying to fool him with. He’d like to think they capitulated so quickly because he was right when he’d said that it was his body, and his health, and his right to decide how to look after it. He’d like to think that. He suspects however it was the coughing fit and resulting searing pain in his chest that actually made them back down so damn fast.

“Morning, gorgeous,” Jared says, walking into the room, a tentative smile on his lips and two coffee mugs in his hand.

Jensen grunts because one thing he’s not is gorgeous. He’s too skinny, and too pale, and has a big ass scar across his chest that will always be a permanent reminder of the day he walked in front of a bullet. As always, Jared resolutely ignores his grumpiness, calmly offering Jensen of one of the coffee mugs. “Jeff’s finishing breakfast, he’ll be up in a second.”

Jensen sighs, but does at least try to hide his scowl behind a sip of coffee. He really doesn’t want to eat anything. He’s simply not hungry. He rarely is now; his appetite seems to have deserted him altogether. Has done since the heavy duty painkillers wore off and he became aware of how sore his throat was. How much it hurt to swallow. And how queasy his stomach was when he did manage to eat.

It was, of course, because of the surgery, the ventilator, and the side-effects of the drugs, but weeks later it’s still hard to convince himself he can eat without it hurting or without throwing up afterwards. His shrink is confident it’s an issue he’ll recover from soon enough. In the meantime, he forces himself to eat at least some of the food Jeff and Jared are constantly foisting on him. If only because his meds can’t be taken on an empty stomach.

Jared climbs back into bed beside Jensen, careful not to jostle his coffee mug. His cold feet quickly find Jensen’s warm calves making Jensen glower, even though he doesn’t really mind. At least it’s a normal thing for Jared to do. Jensen’s getting pretty sick of being treated like he’s going to break if someone so much as looks at him the wrong way.

Jeff walks in a second later, laden with a tray of pancakes and some fresh fruit. At least they’ve stopped trying to get him to eat oatmeal. Just because a guy gets shot, doesn’t mean he suddenly needs to eat like a health nut, or a two year old. Oatmeal… seriously, he hated it when he was a kid, he hated in hospital, and he really fucking hates it now.

“How you doing today, sweetheart?” Jeff asks, sliding the tray across Jensen lap and climbing into bed at the other side of him. He pries the coffee from Jensen’s fingers and hands him a fork instead. Subtle, Jeff is not.

“I’ll be doing just peachy when I finish my coffee,” Jensen says pointedly.

Jeff nods, just as pointedly, at the tray of food. “Food first. A few bites at least. Then meds and then coffee.”

“I’m not a kid, y’know,” Jensen huffs, spearing a strawberry half and eyeing it with derision before finally deigning to eat it.

“We’d find that easier to believe if you stopped pouting like a toddler,” Jared remarks, stealing the other half of the strawberry and popping it in his mouth.

Admittedly, Jensen hasn’t been the easiest person to live with lately. Ecstatic as he was when the hospital finally released him, sleeping in a comfortable bed in familiar surroundings has only done so much to soothe his mood swings.

His therapist says it’s to be expected. Says to be patient. Says he just needs a little time. Time to heal physically. And mentally. Unfortunately, she means months not weeks. Jensen isn’t that patient. He has a store he should be running and a life to get on with. He can’t sit around all day with his boyfriends treating him like a cracked china doll. Things have to go back to normal.

And perhaps that’s part of the reason why Jensen is on edge too. Jeff and Jared. They have their own businesses to run. Their lives don’t revolve around babysitting Jensen’s sorry ass. Sooner or later they’re going to remember that, and he’s going to have no one left to rely on but himself. He’s not admitted it to anyone, not even his therapist, not even his mother, but he’s scared that if he leans too heavily on Jeff and Jared now, he’s going to shatter completely when things finally go back to normal.

“You up to a walk outside today?” Jared asks, nudging his elbow gently against Jensen’s as Jensen breaks off a piece of pancake, dips it in a splash of maple syrup and nibbles at it. “It’s freezing, but it’s dry at least, sunny.”

Doctor’s orders. Short walks every day, breathing exercises, not lifting anything heavy, and rest. Lots of rest.

“Sure,” Jensen says. The weather’s been shit for the past few days and cabin fever is slowly but surely setting in. Jensen is in danger of pounding at the windows soon if he doesn’t get outside and breathe fresh air.

Painkillers, coffee and a hot shower go a long way towards improving his mood. Jeff and Jared leave him to shower alone, which shouldn’t be a big deal but it took nearly a week for Jensen to convince them he wasn’t going to burst his stitches or keel over without them hovering nearby. He suspects one of them still loiters outside the bathroom door the whole time he’s in there alone, but he’s never actually caught them. It’s kind of sweet really, in a completely overbearing way.

Jensen dresses in the bathroom after his shower. He’s not all that keen on Jeff and Jared seeing him naked right now. The sight of the still-healing bullet wound and surgery scar, raised and ugly on his chest, freaks him out, more than a little, so God only knows how Jeff and Jared feel looking at it. Sick, he imagines.

The first few days after he left the hospital simply having a shower was enough to tire him out. Thankfully, now he has slightly more energy and only needs to sit down for a few minutes rather than take an hour long nap once he ventures down into the living room.

“You okay?” Jared asks, wandering into the room. “Up for that walk, or do you need a nap first?”

“Now’s fine, Jay, I’m not a damn invalid,” Jensen snaps, although that’s exactly what he is. Christ, even he knows he's acting like an asshole, but he just can’t seem to stop himself.

“Jeff’s finishing up a call,” Jared says, his smile nervous like he’s not sure how Jensen will react. “He’ll just be a few minutes.”

Jensen shrugs. Jeff making business calls is hardly startling news. Jensen could do with making a few calls himself actually. His assistant manager, Danneel, is running the store while Jensen is incapacitated. Jensen feels fucking awful about leaving her in the lurch over the busiest season of the year. The couple of times he’s talked to her, she’s insisted she’s good though. And Jeff and Jared assure him they’ll deal with anything that crops up which she can’t handle (which admittedly is unlikely) but it’s Jensen’s livelihood on the line, not theirs. And honestly, right now, with medical bills to pay, he can’t afford for the store to go under.

“Hey,” Jared says, sitting down beside him on the sofa, far more carefully than he ever used to. “You know he wouldn’t be taking the call if it wasn’t important, right?”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Jay, it’s fine. I don’t mind. You’ve both missed more than enough work because of me.”

“You know we don’t give a shit about that,” Jared says, snaking his arm around Jensen’s shoulders and tugging him against his side. Jensen allows himself to be tugged. “You’re more important than work. More important than anything.”

“Jared…”

“He’s right,” Jeff says, from the doorway, cutting off Jensen’s argument. “It’s about time you accepted that you’re stuck with us. We’re not going anywhere.”

Jensen swallows down his first deprecating retort and forces a smile instead. The guys must be sick of his moping by now. Christ, Jensen is sick of it. “How about that walk?” He simply asks instead.

Jeff looks like he wants to say something, but it’s forgotten as Jensen jumps up too quickly from the couch and ends up clutching at his chest, swearing through clenched teeth while Jared rubs soothing circles across his back.

After that it’s another hour before they finally leave for their walk. Jensen looking like the damn Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man with the amount of layers Jared and Jeff force him into first. The problem with being in a relationship with two other people is that if they both gang up on you, there’s zero chance of winning. And these days, Jensen always seems to be the one being outvoted.

It does feel good to be outside again though, his fingers tangled with Jared’s and Jeff’s arm around his shoulders. They don’t walk down the steps to the beach. Not even Jensen is stubborn enough to insist they attempt it. Even if he did manage to make it all the way down without falling and killing himself, he’s fairly sure the climb back up would actually finish him off.

Instead they walk along the cliff path. The wind biting into their faces, making Jensen grateful for the scarf that Jeff had wrapped around and around his neck and the woolen beanie covering the tips of his ears that Jared had forced on him.

They don’t walk too far; stopping and turning back after about fifteen minutes. It’s easier to talk on the way back when the wind isn’t in their faces. Jeff tells Jensen all about the gift of a round-the-world cruise he’s arranged for his mom’s Christmas. Jensen shakes his head and laughs along with Jared, because it’s a safe bet his mom is going to rip Jeff a new one. Last Christmas when he bought her an iPad so he could FaceTime her, she yelled at him for an hour straight for spending too much money on her. She _does_ know how much he’s worth, but that doesn’t seem to matter much. Jensen thinks it’s hilarious.

In-turn, Jared confesses that he’s bought his sister a car. A small one, he insists, and not quite new. Jeff and Jensen don’t tease him so much. She’s the only member of his family he talks to these days, or who talks to him, and she’s not done quite as well for herself as Jared has. Not yet anyway. A new car will doubtless mean the world to her.

Jensen’s Christmas shopping has been minimal this year. Between being laid up in the hospital and his strained financial situation, he’s not exactly been able to splurge. He does have some gorgeous books for Jared and Jeff, that he’d ordered a while back, and he’s sent his family, who are all thankfully back in Texas now, a hamper, which is unoriginal but easily ordered online. He’s also given Danneel as big a bonus as he can afford. Enough to satisfy her shoe fetish for a while anyway.

Everyone has assured him that the fact he’s still alive is actually a good enough gift this year. But Jensen thinks that’s pretty lame. And not something you can unwrap on Christmas morning. 

Back home — once he’s stripped off his multitude of layers — Jensen manages to eat enough lunch to keep Jared and Jeff off his back, before admitting he needs a nap.

Often Jeff and Jared will snuggle down with him when he takes an after-lunch nap, but today Jeff just makes sure that Jensen is comfortable — half propped up on a pillow so he’s not lying on his injured side— and that there’s a glass of water and pain meds by the bed, before kissing his forehead and shutting the door quietly behind him as Jensen’s eyes close. The walk and sea air knocking him out almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

When he wakes, the sky peering through the open curtains has grown dark, showing Jensen he’s been out for the count longer than he intended. When he looks at the glowing red figures on the alarm clock, he discovers it’s nearly 6pm, meaning he’s slept for more than three hours without a single nightmare. Jensen has to admit he feels better for the rest. He takes his time rolling out of bed, slipping back on his glasses and popping a couple of pills. He cautiously stretches his shoulders and, with unusual sense, does his breathing exercises. He visits the bathroom, to piss and wash his face before venturing down the stairs.

He doesn’t expect to walk straight into a scene from a cheesy Christmas movie but that’s what it feels like. There’s a tall fir tree in the living room bedecked with twinkling fairy lights and, what must be a hundred glittery baubles. Brightly wrapped gifts are piled high underneath, and Christmas music is playing low in the background. Jared is standing with his back to Jensen lighting candles around the room.

“Wow!” Jensen says, standing open-mouthed in the doorway. “This is… _wow_.”

A wide dimpled grin illuminates Jared’s face when he turns towards Jensen. He looks so much like a little kid that Jensen’s heart clenches at the innocence of it. He can’t help but smile back.

“Happy Christmas Eve! You like it?” Jared asks. “We wanted to surprise you.”

“It’s great, Jay,” Jensen says, looking around. “I definitely wasn’t expecting this.”

Jared finishes lighting the last candle before crossing the room and carefully hauling Jensen into a hug. “I know you haven’t been feeling much like celebrating Christmas this year. You’re dealing with so much crap. But you usually love it all so much and Jeff and I, we…”

“We couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas,” Jeff finishes, walking into the room behind the pair of them.

“Yeah,” Jared says, releasing Jensen so his face isn’t muffled against Jared’s shoulder any longer, taking his hand instead and dragging him towards the sofa. “We’re all here together. We couldn’t ask for anything more.”

Jensen shakes his head. “Christmas stuck here with me being a grumpy bastard? I’m sure that’s just what you always wanted.”

Jeff sits down on the other side of Jensen, placing his hand on Jensen’s thigh. “It really is, Jensen. I would have given anything, everything I had, if someone had offered me this back when you were in surgery. When we didn’t know if you’d wake up. You being here with us… fuck, it’s cheesy, but it’s the best Christmas gift I’ve ever had.”

Jensen squirms, uncomfortable with the sentiment, no matter how genuine it is. It wasn’t that long ago he had doubts about how much Jared and Jeff wanted him in their lives. To hear the pair of them talking like this is almost overwhelming. Jensen doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. And, unjustified as it may be, he can’t help but wonder how long this will last. If, given a few more weeks, they’ll all go back to drifting along the way they have been lately.

Scratching the stubble that he hasn’t had the energy to shave from his chin, Jensen bites at his lip, a nervous tick he can’t seem to kick. “I guess, I mean, I know I owe you guys a lot. You’ve done so much for me these last few weeks. I couldn’t have managed without you. So, y’know… thanks.”

Jeff sighs, his hand coming up to clasp the back of Jensen’s neck, squeezing lightly for a second. “You don’t need to thank us, kid. That’s what people do for the people they love.”

“Yeah,” Jared says. “We don’t want your thanks, dumbass. We just want you to be healthy. And happy.”

“And with us,” Jeff adds. “I know things haven’t been great lately. That we’ve been neglecting you—“

“ _Jeff_ ,” Jensen complains, cringing at how needy that makes him sound.

“No, sweetheart, it’s true. No one in a relationship should feel lonely. It’s not okay. What we’ve been doing, all of us to some extent, it’s not okay. It can’t continue. Things have to change. We have to change.”

Jensen’s stomach twists. He doesn’t know where this is going. And despite everything Jeff and Jared have said, there’s still a tiny insecure whisper in his head that it’s nowhere good.

“I’m selling the business,” Jeff says bluntly.

“What?” Jensen gasps, stunned.

“I’m selling the business. I had an offer, a good one. My lawyers are looking it over, but if it’s as good as it looks, then I’m taking it.”

“No,” Jensen says immediately, standing up and shoving his glasses up his nose, hard. “You can’t. The business is your life, Jeff. You love it.”

“I love you more.”

“It’s not a fucking competition,” Jensen snaps. “You don’t have to choose. Jesus Christ, if you sell up now, on a fucking whim you’re going to regret it so badly. Fuck, you’re going to end up hating me for making you do it.”

“Dude!” Jared interrupts Jensen’s meltdown. “Chill out. You’re not making him do it. No one is.”

“He’s right,” Jeff says, his dark eyes just as calm as always as he looks up at Jensen. “No one is making me do it. And it’s not a whim. I always planned to sell up one day.”

“One day!” Jensen says, his voice high-pitched and his chest twinging just a little. “Not now.”

“Jensen,” Jeff says, his voice placid and steady and not sounding like he’s just dropped a bombshell on Jensen at all. “What happened to you was a wake-up call. One that I needed. You’re right, I didn’t plan on selling the company right now. I mean, I’ve had offers before, good offers, but I’ve always found a reason to turn them down. Who knows, maybe I always would have. But, it’s different now. My priorities have shifted.”

“Because of me?” Jensen’s still uncomfortable with all of this, pacing up and down the living room, rubbing absentmindedly at his chest.

“Because of how I felt when I didn’t know if you were going to live or die.”

Jensen stops mid-pace when Jeff stands up and steps in front of him, hands resting gently on his shoulders. “Listen to me… I love you. I want to spend my life with you and Jared. Not just the odd weekend when the stars align just right, but every weekend. I want to go to bed with you every night, wake up with you every morning.”

Jeff’s throwing Jensen’s words back at him, which frankly is not playing fair. Jensen narrows his eyes. Jeff smirks and kisses the tip of his nose. “I love it when your nose scrunches up like that,” he says. “I want to see it everyday. I want to hear you grumble, and laugh, and curse when you walk into a door and trip over a shoe. I want to eat your waffles. Every day.”

“I’m not making waffles every day,” Jensen says, but his glare is giving way to a smile.

Jeff laughs gently and brushes a barely-there kiss against his lips, before circling behind Jensen, and wrapping his arms around his waist instead. “You want to get in on this, Jay?”

Jared’s already on his feet, crowding in on Jensen in the best way. “Things are going to change. For the better. For all of us. It’s not because of you, and if things get rough, if we hit a few bumps in the road along the way, it won’t be your fault, or your responsibility. We’re making these changes because we want to.”

“You think it won’t work out?” Jensen asks, almost afraid to look Jared in the eyes.

Jared hooks his finger under Jensen’s chin and tilts up his head. “I think you’ll shout at me for leaving wet towels on the floor, and I’ll get pissed at you for drinking all the coffee, and that Jeff will drive us mad until he finds something to occupy his time. I think we’ll argue about stupid shit like everyone in a relationship does. And I think you’ll try and blame yourself for it all, but it won’t be your fault. Well, apart from the coffee.” Jared winks and a knot of worry in Jensen’s belly begins to unravel. “This is something we should have done months ago. I’m mad at myself that it took nearly losing you to realise that I was letting the best relationship in my life slowly slip away.”

Jared bends down and kisses Jensen on the lips, sweet and fond and chaste. Jensen’s heart flutters in his chest like he’s a giddy teenager. He almost rolls his eyes at himself.

“So,” Jeff says, behind him, his warm breath on the back of Jensen’s neck sending a shiver all the way down his spine. “Do you want your Christmas present now?”

“It’s not Christmas yet,” Jared breaks away from Jensen’s lips to say, a twinkle in his eye when he looks at Jeff over Jensen’s shoulder. “We should probably wait until tomorrow.”

Even Jensen would admit that he pouts at that. The pair of them are dirty teases.

“How about one gift now and the rest tomorrow,” Jeff suggests as though the pair of them haven’t planned this already.

“Hmmm.” Jared pretends to think about it, but can’t keep it up for long before laughing and kissing the sulky pout of Jensen’s lips. “Come on,” he says, grabbing Jensen’s hand and tugging him towards the sofa, Jeff staying glued to Jensen’s side, even when they sit down.

Jared grabs a large white envelope from the coffee table and hands it to Jensen expectantly. “No gift wrapping, sorry.”

Jensen stares at the envelope for a moment, unexpectedly nervous, before opening it with trembling fingers.

“We haven’t signed anything yet,” Jeff says, before Jensen has a chance to even look at the documents. “We wanted you to say yes first. But we think it’s perfect. It’s three blocks away from your store, and maybe thirty minutes from Jared’s tattoo studio.”

It’s the details of an apartment. A penthouse. Three bedroom, four bath, a study, huge modern open plan kitchen and dining room, a living room bigger than Jensen’s current apartment. It’s beautiful. Wooden floors, high ceilings, large windows. It’s the kind of place Jensen’s always dreamed of living. It’s insane.

“I can’t afford something like this,” he says.

“You don’t have to,” Jeff says. “I’m buying it for all of us.”

“No,” Jensen says.

“Yes,” Jeff replies, steadily. “If you like it, I’m closing the deal on it. If you don’t, we’ll find something else.”

“But,” Jensen has a hundred arguments lined up.

Jeff doesn’t let him use any. “No buts. This is my gift. For you and Jared. For us. I’m fed up just talking about getting a place of our own. This is it. Our chance to be together.”

“But,” Jensen says again.

“No,” Jared says, this time. “No buts. Don’t let your stupid pride stop you from getting what you want. Jeff can easily afford this, you know he can. He’s not going to settle for anything less.”

“To be honest,” Jeff says. “I’ll probably still make a profit by the time I sell my place out in the ‘burbs. And before you say anything, you know I hate that pretentious pile of bricks anyway.”

“Wow,” Jensen says, looking down at the glossy pictures of the apartment again. “I mean… wow.”

“And,” Jared says. “I’m not selling my business like Jeff is, but I’m putting a stop to all the traveling. I mean, I’ll still do the odd convention, but from now on if someone wants me to work on them, they come to me. No matter who they are. I’m not a kid anymore. I’m sick of spending half my life stuck on a plane.”

Jensen doesn’t know what to say. This is everything he could have wished for. It’s just too good to be true. Well, apart from the bullet wound in his chest and the missing part of his lung. Even then, he thinks maybe getting shot was an acceptable sacrifice if it means the three of them can make this relationship work. Of course, he’s not going to say that out loud. He doesn’t think Jeff and Jared are quite ready to look at him nearly dying as anything other than a nightmare just yet.

“So,” Jeff says, and for the first time the tiniest tremor of nerves cracks through his usually unflappable rumble. “Are we doing this?”

Jensen takes a deep breath, barely noticing the twitch of pain in his chest and says, “yes. Yes, please. Thank you.”

Jared and Jeff both laugh. “Such a polite boy,” Jared says before leaning over, his lips crashing against Jensen’s.

“You could learn from him,” Jeff growls. “It’s rude not to share.” And then, Jensen finds himself wrapped in Jeff’s arms and being kissed dizzy.

“Okay, Okay,” Jeff says, eventually dragging himself away from Jensen, who’s hot and flushed, his dick half hard for the first time since he had a catheter shoved up there. “Let’s… slow down.”

Jensen whines.

Jeff stands up, and adjusts himself in his pants. “Food. We need food.”

“No,” Jensen says, getting to his feet and crowding up against Jeff. “We need sex.”

“Nope,” Jeff says, taking a step backwards, his voice as high as Jensen as ever heard it. “You haven’t been cleared for sex by your doctor. We’re going to make cookies. Christmas tree shaped cookies. And then we’re gonna decorate them. And…”

“No,” Jensen says, chasing after him. “We’re not. We’re going to make out, and if my dick stays hard, get off, and then I’ll make cookies because the last time you and Jared attempted to bake we had to toss the baking sheet in the trash.”

And then Jensen shoves Jeff back on to the sofa beside Jared and very carefully climbs on to his lap, dragging Jared by the front of his sweater into a messy kiss as soon as he’s seated, with Jeff’s hands clinging onto his hips. And, just as Jensen demanded, they stay there, kissing and touching, gentle and slow, until Jensen comes with a shudder in Jared’s hand, Jeff comes with Jensen’s ass grinding against him and Jared jerks himself off watching. They’re a mess; sweaty, mainly dressed and sticky with spunk but it’s the most relaxed and happy Jensen’s felt in weeks. He’s missed this. Missed the normality of just being with the men he loves.

“Well,” Jared says, looking around for something to wipe his hand on and settling for Jensen’s track pants, the only item of clothing that’s been entirely discarded. “That wasn’t in our plans.”

“You made your plans without my help though,” Jensen points out. “It takes all three of us to make the best plans.”

“You might be right,” Jeff grins up at him, his cock twitching against Jensen’s naked and now slightly chilly ass. “And three of us to make cookies?”

Jensen chuckles, and accepts Jared’s help to climb off Jeff’s lap. “Once I’ve cleaned up,” he says, kicking off his boxer-shorts which were tangled around his thighs. “I don’t think half-naked baking is exactly hygienic.”

“You’ll get no complaints from me, sweetheart,” Jeff winks. Jensen snorts and walks, slightly stiffly, towards the stairs. “Shower, and then baking and then food,” he says over his shoulder.

And for once he doesn’t complain when Jeff and Jared join him in the bathroom. And while he still flinches when Jared softly touches the pink skin around his healing scar, he thinks perhaps he might eventually be able to live with the changes to his body. One day. That perhaps they’re not quite as important as the positive changes to the rest of his life.

They do make cookies. And order pizza. And eat it watching It’s a Wonderful Life on the television while the Christmas tree lights sparkle and rain patters against the windows. Jeff has to wake Jensen from where he’s drifted to sleep against Jared’s shoulder before all three of them go to bed, Jensen snuggling down between them once he’s taken his meds. All in all, it’s a magical Christmas Eve.

Christmas morning, Jensen wakes with a start. The remnants of a bad dream flickering out of his mind. He’s alone in bed, but the sheets are still warm and he can hear Jared climbing the stairs. He has just enough time to take a few calming breaths, wipe the sleep from his eyes, and grab his glasses before Jared walks in, coffee mugs in his hand.

“Merry Christmas, gorgeous,” he says, dimples on full display.

Jensen sits up, rolls his shoulders, and grumbles a little before replying with a Merry Christmas of his own.

“Wow,” Jared says, handing over one of the mugs when Jensen makes grabby hands. “Words before coffee… it really is a Christmas miracle.”

“Screw you, Padalecki,” Jensen says, without heat, before taking a sip of coffee and letting out a pleased little sigh.

“Jeff’ll be up in a second,” Jared says. “He’s just…”

“...making breakfast,” Jensen finishes for him.

“Not exactly,” Jared says.

Jensen just has time to give Jared a quizzical glance before he hears Jeff’s feet on the stairs. Jensen can see that Jared’s trying so hard to restrain himself, he’s almost bouncing on the bed. When Jeff walks into the room, Jensen can see why.

And when he has an armful of fluffy puppy a second later, he totally understands.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” Jeff grins, as he sits down on the bed, puppy number two, still in his arms, enthusiastically licking at his beard.

“This… is a bad idea,” Jensen says, watching as the puppy stumbles out of his arms and climbs over Jared who scoops the poor thing up immediately and starts baby-talking at it.

“It’s the worst,” Jeff laughs, watching the puppy in his arms tumble on to the bed. “But fuck it, life’s too short to not have puppies.”

“That makes no sense,” Jensen complains, even as Jeff’s puppy is now curling up in the V of his bowlegs and falling asleep.

“So, we’ll just take them back to the shelter then?” Jared calls his bluff.

“Nah,” Jensen says. “Two of them, three of us… we’ll manage.”

And, by the time Jensen’s back to full fitness, Jared and Jeff will have done all the hard work. Toilet-training is surely not a task for a guy recovering from a gunshot wound. It might take three to make the best relationship, but it only takes two to clean up dog poop.

 

_Finis_

_Thank you for reading!_

 

_PLEASE GO LEAVE LOTS OF LOVE AT THE ART POST[HERE](https://sillie82.livejournal.com/451358.html)! _

 

 

 


End file.
